Usually around this time, I find myself not thinking about anything else but Spring—how I can’t wait to take more and longer walks, sitting on patios with my friends enjoying a nice iced tea, and making a list of all the projects I want to tackle around the house.
But right now, honestly, I’m mom-ing really hard. All I can think about is friendships and the incredible impact they have—for better or worse.
We all know the power of friendships cannot be understated. The warmth we get from their love, support, and connection can create immeasurable positive change in our lives. From improving our health, to enriching our lives—friendships make our lives brighter.
But they can also bring us down. As parents, we have this unique opportunity to see how friendships and relationships play out with our kids. In the beginning, we can pretty much pick our kids friends by setting up playdates and making decisions around how our kids spend their time. But, as they get older…it’s tricker. As I watch my daughter navigate her teen years and do my part to help her grow as an independent, thoughtful person—I’ve come to see how valuable it is to be intentional around who we surround ourselves with. How incredibly important it is to think about how our relationships affect our lives.
And, since we’re rarely on the sidelines watching the dynamics play out for our own relationships…it hit me that this might not be a message just for my daughter, but for all of us.
I wanted to pause and take a moment to reflect on the lessons I’m teaching my daughter about around getting on sidelines of relationships to assess if they are truly good…and then share these personal ruminations with you.
First, I think it’s important to ask yourself if your friends have your best interests at heart. Do they encourage you to be your best self? Do they gently call you out with you’ve gotten off course? Or…do they tend to lead you into making decisions that aren't good for you?
Do you find yourself laughing with them? Do they listen to your problems and support you even through the trials of life? Do they lift you up consistently, or bring you down consistently?
Are you simply an observer in your friend group? I’m seeing this a lot—we play a role or part to be more of what people want or expect, instead of getting in there and engaging as ourselves.
Are you trusting your instincts…and then are you acting on them? As adults, we know when things aren’t good for us. But the act of letting go is hard and uncomfortable—even if it’s right. We might be scared, even if it’s okay. All these means is that our brain hasn’t caught up with what we need to do. Trust and believe in yourself enough to know you can, and do, create your own life story.
You need to take some time to define what “good” means to you in your relationships and how the people around you support and align with your values.
Friends can be the most important people in your life. Take care to make sure the ones you surround yourself with lift you up and help you shine.
